I heard we made out
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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