Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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  (443): remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing http://tfl.nu/zq5c
  Replies (3) Good night (1896) Bad night (713)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?

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  (617): At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic? http://tfl.nu/efxp
  Replies (21) Good night (754) Bad night (2524)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors

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  (973): He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors http://tfl.nu/k8g7
  Replies (8) Good night (5499) Bad night (1925)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

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  (407): Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast. http://tfl.nu/8b17
  Replies (11) Good night (5379) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.

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  (636): The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania. http://tfl.nu/yocg
  Replies (15) Good night (3532) Bad night (994)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.

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  (289): eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks. http://tfl.nu/9rpm
  Replies (8) Good night (2971) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  No I am not eating basil off your cock

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  (239): No I am not eating basil off your cock http://tfl.nu/7i1u
  Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (2747)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.

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  (617): Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/pm4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1334) Bad night (2979)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.

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  (256): So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen. http://tfl.nu/ty3k
  Replies (3) Good night (2513) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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  (310): A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf. http://tfl.nu/8l3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1363) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score

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  (608): his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score http://tfl.nu/rd1e
  Replies (7) Good night (1398) Bad night (523)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.

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  (914): Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block. http://tfl.nu/om9a
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.

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  (425): THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES. http://tfl.nu/y1ns
  Replies (9) Good night (977) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...

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  (845): So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first... http://tfl.nu/kd9w
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

  (1-438): View more from Quebec

  God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

  (438): View more from Quebec

  Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

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  (438): I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents. (1-438): God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol. (438): Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss http://tfl.nu/li35
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (311)

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