Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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(703): i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice. http://tfl.nu/s321

Replies (15) Good night (5475) Bad night (694)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.

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(412): Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken. http://tfl.nu/9881

Replies (13) Good night (1005) Bad night (5306)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"

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(218): you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey" http://tfl.nu/pjur

Replies (24) Good night (6575) Bad night (1375)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good

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(413): well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good http://tfl.nu/4dfc

Replies (17) Good night (3688) Bad night (1920)
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(904): View more from Florida

When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.

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(904): When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why. http://tfl.nu/7466

Replies (7) Good night (2334) Bad night (1006)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.

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(816): Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing. http://tfl.nu/pnzr

Replies (1) Good night (1832) Bad night (647)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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(860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y

Replies (10) Good night (1490) Bad night (520)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.

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(763): pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/e4q8

Replies (4) Good night (538) Bad night (945)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao

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(201): For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao http://tfl.nu/eyan

Replies (7) Good night (859) Bad night (455)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Be safe. And I hate you.

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(404): Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND! (1-404): Be safe. And I hate you. http://tfl.nu/32xo

Replies (3) Good night (1241) Bad night (358)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

I'm coming right back.

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(601): Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell? (1-601): I'm coming right back. http://tfl.nu/the6

Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (314)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.

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(412): I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn. http://tfl.nu/rnnm

Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (309)
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(779): View more from Illinois

Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now

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(779): Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now http://tfl.nu/zs7j

Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (520)
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(310): View more from California

I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.

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(310): I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed. http://tfl.nu/5cad

Replies (4) Good night (1315) Bad night (315)
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(253): View more from Washington

Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...

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(253): Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt... http://tfl.nu/dcgj

Replies (14) Good night (245) Bad night (358)

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