so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.