Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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(510): View more from California

just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

It is literally 8 in the morning.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.

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(248): View more from Michigan

he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.

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(863): View more from Florida

I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint

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