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• (703): View more from Virginia

  How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?

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• (949): View more from California

  I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night

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• (310): View more from California

  Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  Booty calls should never involve the cops.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.

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