Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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