I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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