We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
