it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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