I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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