Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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