We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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