I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?