theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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