Yo dont text me then not text me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
