it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
