I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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