Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
