There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
