You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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