stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
As shirtless as possible
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
