3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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