My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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