it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize