just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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