the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
