the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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