all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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