She is in my trunk
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
