Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
