my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
