Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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