think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
