What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
