So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
