i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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