She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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