just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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