Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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