i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
