toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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