That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
