Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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