Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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