Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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