Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize