i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
