it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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