Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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