I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize