Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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