Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
