I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
