you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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