Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
