You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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