i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
