everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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