Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
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Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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