I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
