Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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