i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the day after is always just damage control
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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