Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize