hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
