PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
