I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
