We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
