no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
