yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
