she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize